A Rant on Gender Equality, International Women’s Day and Women’s History Month
Just today, I was texting with a female colleague, a talented, credentialed, wise, seasoned expert in her field. Her request to reschedule a meeting with me held the weight of unnecessary explanation, and then an apology for coming across as “unreliable.” Unreliable! She simply wanted to reschedule the meeting with me, and that in and of itself was a valid request. There was absolutely no need to explain why, and completely no reason to offer an apology–or judge herself as being “unreliable.”
I thought of times when I worked in the fast-moving world of big tech, and how many times calendars changed and my male colleagues needed to reschedule meetings—sometimes with less than a quarter of an hour’s notice. Most of the time, they didn’t contact me ahead of time; they simply rescheduled the calendar invite. They certainly didn’t offer an explanation or justification. And never did they judge themselves or apologize. They just did it. And it was fine.
When I think about this stellar colleague who apologized to me for needing to reschedule time with me, I think about how for centuries we as women have absorbed the message that we need to dim ourselves, ask for permission, justify our existence. I’m just done with that.
Right now, as I’m writing this, it’s Women’s History Month and yet, women’s rights are being gutted all over the world.
We’re seeing emboldened, brazen gender-based attacks in broad daylight, in courtrooms, in our politics. We’re seeing women lower their voices, minimize their impact, take on more, ask for less, take up less space, reduce their visibility to reduce their risk of being a target.
Well, I’ve got news for you. If you’re a woman or identify as a woman, you’re already a target.
So. Instead of being grateful to companies for creating tepid content “honoring” the same iconic women and slapping pink banners on everything one month out of the year, it’s time to be who we are. It’s time to take up space—without asking, without apology. Instead of asking to be given rights, it’s time to assume the rights that are already ours by virtue of existing.
Speak up, boldly. Demand. Fearlessly confront those who would take away our rights.
Not sure where to start? Here are a few things that I’ve decided to do.
Stop apologizing. Really. Unless you’ve intentionally or unintentionally caused harm, either through an overt action or in error, stop apologizing.
Take up space. Seriously. Swagger. Swing your arms when you walk. Get your whole body into the world, not just above your neck.
Speak your truth. Stop minimizing your opinions, your thoughts, your recommendations, your tastes, your desires.
Ask for help. No one gets through this world on their own. Stop trying to solve everything, be everything, and do everything.
Ask for permission–later. Do the thing. Take the action. If you hesitate, challenge yourself. Ask what’s holding you back, and address that.
Do something. Anything; it doesn’t matter how small. There’s someone in your neighborhood, your network, or your community who could use a hand. Volunteer, give money, or just be a friendly ear to someone who needs it.
Create community. If you find yourself saying “someone should…” be that someone.
Support gender equality everywhere. Here are six initiatives from the UN Women’s page - all of them worthy actions.