As the crisp nights of fall roll in, so do a whirlwind of social and work events: bonfires, wine tastings, Halloween parties, football tailgating, Friday night lights, networking dinners, quarterly kickoffs, and of course, holiday celebrations. The invitations pile up, and with them comes the pressure—because at most of these events, alcohol is ever-present.

For those of us who are sober and sober-curious, the challenge isn’t just about resisting the urge to drink, it’s also about navigating the subtle (or not-so-subtle) pressures to join in. “It’s just one drink!” or “Come on, it’s a toast!” can make it tough to stick to your health and lifestyle goals. At work events, the social concerns about abstaining from a drink mount. Sure, you can offer a very acceptable explanation of I’m not drinking due to health reasons or medication. For some women, their concern is that’s code for “I’m pregnant” which then invites speculation and concern about their productivity and career trajectories. Men secretly worry about being perceived as untrustworthy, weak, or unstable. 

So, how do you handle these situations gracefully while maintaining your professional reputation and confidence?

Before You Go: Set Yourself Up for Success

First, decide if this is an event you truly want—or need—to attend. Is it important for your career or personal life? Prioritizing the events that matter to you will make you feel more confident about your decision not to drink.

If you’re going, create an exit strategy. Think ahead about how long you plan to stay, and give yourself permission to leave if you feel uncomfortable. If possible, bring a supportive friend who respects your choice to remain alcohol-free. Having someone in your corner can make all the difference.

While You’re There: Stay Comfortable and Confident

One of the most effective ways to navigate social drinking situations is by managing expectations—both your own and others’. Remember, people are often more focused on themselves than they are on your drink choice. Chances are, no one will notice or care if you’re not drinking, but having a drink in hand can ease any awkwardness.

Opt for a tonic with lime, soda water, or a mocktail. Many venues offer fun, non-alcoholic alternatives these days, so take advantage of those options. If anyone asks why you’re not drinking, keep your answer simple and light: “I’ve got an early morning,” or “I’m just not feeling it tonight” are perfectly acceptable responses.

Most importantly, relax and enjoy yourself! Focus on the connections you’re making and the conversations you’re having. Alcohol doesn’t define the fun—you do.

After the Event: Reflect and Recharge

Once the event wraps up, don’t forget to thank the host for a great time. If you feel inspired, suggest some sober-friendly options for future gatherings. It’s all about creating an environment where everyone feels comfortable—whether they drink or not.

Being sober-curious doesn’t mean you have to miss out on the fun or feel isolated. By approaching these situations with confidence, preparation, and a positive mindset, you can enjoy the season without compromising your goals.

What strategies do you use to stay sober or sober-curious at social or work events? Leaders, how do you support your #sobercurious and #sober employees at work events? Share your tips in the comments!